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(Nov. 17, 2011) - It was classic Ashburn.
I’m speaking of Wednesday night at Stone Bridge, where I had the honor of attending a ceremony in which about 100 students were inducted into the National Honor Society, including my daughter. It was filled with mothers and fathers beaming with pride, each of us carrying enough camera equipment to produce a major motion picture, quietly reinforced with the knowledge that this ceremony had to validate our belief we all must be pretty awesome parents.
If you don’t live here, you may not understand. We are an area filled with families with lots of kids, a little bit more wealth than the national average, and a strong feeling of self-importance. We suck down Starbucks by the gallon, complain about how much maintenance costs are at luxury automobile dealerships, and worry that if our kids aren’t involved in a dozen after-school activities, we’ve harmed them irreparably in their pursuit of a college education.
We look at anything less than Wegman’s as a convenience store, shoot hours of video of any participation by our children in school or sports activities, and bristle with a certain “do you know who I am” attitude when things don’t go our way. Our three high schools – Stone Bridge, Briar Woods and Broad Run – don’t just compete in athletics, they win state championships. We tend to think we’re a little better than everyone else, and if you’re not sure about any of that, just ask us.
As the ceremony was about to start, it was easy to spot another key virtue of Ashburnites – impatience – as the clock struck 7:30 and the festivities hadn’t started yet. Moms started asking other Moms “why aren’t they starting on time?” while going through the program, reading every name, and sharing stories of what some might call a gossipy nature. One young man apparently was singled out for discussion because he made perfect grades, but never allegedly needed to study.
“I don’t like people like that,” said one Mom with a smile on her face. “OK, then,” I replied.
“Which do you dislike more: A kid who gets better grades than our kids without having to study, or a woman who can eat all the candy and junk food in the world, yet never gains any weight?”
“Oh that’s easy,” said the Mom in the row in front of me. “I’d really hate that woman.”
Of course for all the bluster, our kids are like everyone else’s, regardless of grades. I remember once talking to a football coach about his quarterback, and he praised him for his intellect on the field.
“So,” I asked, “you’re saying since he’s a teenager, he can call a z-right, x-cross and immediately recognize the defense is in a cover-2, but he can’t remember to close the front door when he comes in the house after practice?” The coach nodded.
It was much the same last night, as it started when the young man who was supposed to tell the inductees to come in misunderstood and told them to stay out. Once corrected, the inductees marched in, and the group was supposed to fill the first 4 or 5 rows of the auditorium.
For some reason, the group elected to fill in rows one and two, then started filling in rows 5 and 6, leaving a huge hole in the middle of the group. Giggles filled the room a bit, as many recognized that here were the school’s smartest kids, yet the struggled to understand after you fill in row 1 and row 2, you then fill in row 3.
It immediately gave me the mental image of the famous “The Far Side” comic strip where a young man is pushing on a door clearly marked with a “pull” sign and above the building’s entrance is the label “School For The Gifted.” Even Principal Jim Person mentioned in his remarks during the ceremony that while the students had achieved so much, they still had work to do, including learning “the logistics of filling in the rows.”
At one point, a series of candles needed to be lit as part of the ceremonies, and one student initially struggled to click on one of those lighters most of us use to start an outdoor barbecue grill.
“How many kids in Ashburn know how to start a barbecue grill?” one Mom said in defending the student’s confusion. I found myself wondering how many kids in Ashburn mow the grass, wash the car or a whole host of other chores I find little assistance offered from the teenager in my house. And if I had said that out loud, I am sure a number of Dads would be nodding their heads in agreement.
But the ceremony went well, everyone’s child looked beautiful, we all got our pictures to post on Facebook, and the pride of their accomplishment morphed to the Cashburn philosophy of what would these good grades cost us as parents. Person even mentioned it in his closing remarks.
“Students, your parents are proud of you, and tonight you can probably get whatever you want and do no wrong in their eyes,” he told the group in closing. “Seize the moment.”
That, my friends, is classic Ashburn.
Read more of Dave Scarangella on his site DullesDistrict.com!
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